Springtime is making Betty a horny little bunny. While my boyfriend is reaping all the benefits of my spring lust so is every other guy (and let’s face it - hot girl) that comes across my path. One of the grey haired old bosses at my work winked at me and despite the gesture being in a “hey, how’s this crazy work of yours going” and not an “ I’d like to ravish you in the back closet” kind of a way – I still practically had to go to the bathroom and change my panties.

I’ve also found myself becoming nostalgic on previous conquests. I assumed it was just due to the fact that my 4-year relationship was entering a comfort zone that felt occasionally like a warm security blanket wrapped around my neck like a noose. But again, could just be the spring.

At one point while having a nice Saturday morning in bed, my boyfriend asked me what I was thinking as my elbows lay propped on the pillow all pensive like. Unfortunately being the brutally honest girl that I am I answered the truth. “Oh, I was just thinking about the foursome I had with those two South African guys and my girl friend from Chicago.”

Somehow I don’t think he’s going to be asking me what’s on my mind any time soon, unless he wants another bad ego blow.

But I digress. I had been thinking of previous conquests, and started thinking of all the professions the men I have bedded have held. In no particular order:

The Oil Rigger - I would have had his babies based on his Scottish accent alone, unfortunately he was out of the country 2 weeks out of the month – and I require a lot more attention than what 2 weeks can provide.

The Geeky IT guy who had a surprisingly nice ass.

The Door to Door Salesman – he was in and out in a flash.

The Volunteer Fireman – who never volunteered during the 6 months we were together, so I think we can just call him unemployed.

The Bartender(s) – lets just call this my early twenties – a bit of a blur, but a hell of a lot of fun.

The Advertising Executive for some big music corporation - he had a massively expensive apartment on the right bank of Paris, but was a bit of a bore.

Writer/Musician/Stand-up comic/Night guard at a psych ward - the quintessential artist still holds a place in my heart.

Ex-Military Banker – this boy was a tank, in every sense of the word.

Scientist – gotta love a man in a lab coat.

If I put them all on a desert island I think we could make a very productive society, I being of course queen of the land of Betty’s Former Beaus. All I’m missing is a lawyer and a doctor- although now that I think about it one of the South Africans in the foursome was a paediatrician, which makes you wonder what your kids doctor gets up to on a Friday night