About The Girls

Meme: contributing writer and self-proclaimed ne’er do well, known coast to coast for her uncanny impersonations of her mother. Meme’s hails from the land out west, where men are men and woman are botoxed (well, not even sure about the “men” thing.) She escaped with little sanity intact, but escaped nonetheless. Now she lives the best city in the world, a place where you can become a millionaire and spend it all on one night drinking. She’s a smart-alec, badass, hot lady who sometimes says stupid things and is often found walking out of restrooms with a trail of toilet paper attached to her shoe. Meme also writes regularly over at dirtyspoke, a site dedicated to sex blog reviews on Playboy Radio. (New York, NY)

Jenna: contributing writer, Jenna started off as Girlspoke’s resident Miss Cleo, but when that bitch came out of the closet, she wanted to branch out a bit. When she’s not blogging, you can find Jenna peering in her neighbor’s windows, trying to set stray cats on fire, online shopping with QVC, or flossing her teeth. Obviously, we keep her around for the writing, which is often prone to sweeping generalizations, harsh judgemental tirades, and poorly executed humor. She’s heard that self-loathing is the next best thing, so she recently announced that she is fully out of love with her arm fat, but fucking loves her wrists and neck. Jenna thrives on witty banter and intelligent debate, though is equally fond of ceremonious tantrums and irrational bouts of hatred. Much of the time, though, she is full of love. Not necessarily Christ love, but…have you heard that song by the Pixies? Gigantic? (Jenna has trouble remaining loyal to trends, friends, and relatives, but not her favorite penis.) Jenna also contributes in all the right ways at dirtyspoke. (New York, NY)

Heather: contributing writer and resident sex pundit / porn savant, prepare to be bitch-slapped by her mad skillz. Heather is a Jersey girl who spends her days in NYC, spent some time in DC, and was raised Dutch. Heather flirted with an ordinary life when she went to law school for a bit, but swapped that destiny for a life in porn. Gay porn that is. She works under the name Heather Reznor (loves NIN) as PR director for Lucas Entertainment, THE gay porn studio of New York. But even more important to her than porn (as if!) is comedy. Miss Fink writes and performs standup all over the place, hosts Hoboken Comedy Night, co-hosts Sexytime (a comedy show at Mo Pitkins), and is currently producing/starring in the play she wrote, “Terminator 4: The Musical”, to premiere at The PIT and UCB Theatre in fall ‘06. And my goodness Heather loves internets! She also contributes on dirtyspoke by reading smut on the radio, and on any day at heatherfink.com. You can check her site to see where she’s performing next. (Hoboken, NJ)

Brandy: a 20 something independent woman who’s been “on the verge on something great” for the past five years. She is a strong black woman with the voice of a white girl named Tiffany and the name of a stripper but all she really wants is to make people laugh with her standup comedy. A transplant to the East Village of New York City by way of the suburbs south of Atlanta, Georgia, she misses Wal-Mart but really digs skinny designer jeans and ballet flats. She currently co-hosts a monthly comedy show in NYC called Sexytime and regularly updates the world about her life through Blog of Brandy. Two of Brandy’s favorite things to do are write comedy and have sex. She works as a reality television producer for a show your parents love called Flip This House on A&E (look for her in the credits!) and hopes to one day write and produce comedy entertainment for preteen girls. She is confident that she’s funnier than both the Olsen twins and Hilary Duff. She is also not afraid to admit that there is a laminated poster of Leonardo DiCaprio above her bed and that girls in middle school think she is God. (New York, NY)

Betty: contributing writer and boozy wannabe Londoner who tries to write whenever she finds enough time to sober up. A self-proclaimed ex-pat currently drinking her way through every dingy pub in England. In fact the only person thus far able to drink her under the table is her own mother. Past professions include underage bartending in Paris and phone sex operator (at least that’s what she’ll tell you if you try to pick her up in a bar). She’ll bring the Europhile out in all of us with her love for soccer and pub life and she’ll show you that the female condition knows no country. Listen to her wax poetic about, well, waxing and all the trials and tribulations of womanhood, relationships and living abroad. She will gladly trade the address of her favorite bikini waxer for booze and/or sex toys. (London, UK)

Rizzo: contributing writer when she’s in the mood. Who are we kidding? She never writes cause she’s too good for all this blogging nonsense. Unlike the rest of us, Rizzo claims to have a life. We just keep her profile on here to both show off her hotness and have a scapegoat to blame when something goes wrong in the heart-shaped bed. When she’s not living the cool urban post-collegiate waitressing life she’s being wisked off to places like Italy with her super-hot boyfriend and having drunken soirees worthy of a Tucker Max tale. So, in a nutshell: beauty and brains meets drunken debauchery and hamfistedness. Oh Rizzo, we will always save a space in the bed for you, even if it’s down by Jenna’s feet. (San Francisco, CA)

Casey: contributing writer and reigning queen of the bbq, Casey moved south down the California coastline 400 miles and then promptly moved 400 miles back north again. But don’t tell her she’s fickle or she’ll slap you. When she’s not blogging furiously she makes films and now, because of Girlspoke, she is writing the great American novel. She likes living alone and likes the fact that her new town is full of an aging geriatric community. It makes her feel terribly spritely and young. She has no problem touching her toes. Casey’s not afraid to show you her keen abilities and sharp wit, even if it’s in list format, but be sure to take good notes and don’t ask why. It is what it is. (San Francisco, CA)

Lo: contributing writer , prone to hyperbole and self-deprecation her first love is online Scrabble and her second love is the online dictionary that she uses to cheat. Lo’s rants are some of the most acerbic on the innernets, she spews and spits better than a tranny hooker in the meat-packing district. But let’s not forget about her soft side…um, right, just kidding. Vaccilating between California and Canada, she’s bringing her style and panache to our neighbors to the north. Frankly, the rest of us are wondering when she’ll end up in New York, where she belongs.(San Francisco, CA)